To all the friends I have made plans with and the backed out on – this apology is for you.
To all my friends who will make plans with me in the future – don’t say I didn’t warn.
A thing you should know about me is that I am super honest and have little to no filter sometimes (okay, most of the time). I say what I am thinking and feeling at the present time quite freely. Especially to my friends. However, my mind, like my mouth, races at a million miles an hour. And my life, like my mind, is all over the place. I am constantly thinking about the opportunities I have and as luck would have it, I have a lot. Plus new ones are presenting themselves to me frequently! Thus, my life plans are changing, constantly. You have no idea how much time I spend researching ideas, places to go and what to do with my life. My journal is bursting with ideas. I am also always writing down timelines. In fact if you look at my journal you’ll see that by now I should have; Completed my TEFL, worked in Europe, hitchhiked the Caribbean, visited Myanmar, Started walking Japan, gone back to university, visited Cuba, visited Canada…and the list goes on.
So to all the friends I have made plans with, only to change my mind shortly after, I am truly sorry.
It is not that I was lying when I told you I wanted to take part in the plan. I was being 100% truthful. It is just that when you presented me with this fabulous idea I hadn’t considered all my options before jumping in and saying YES! If I said YES to your idea and went full speed ahead with it, your idea was AWESOME. I more than likely will do it one day, just not in the way or in the timeline I mislead you and myself to believe.
This is one of my flaws, I jump at every opportunity without seriously evaluating it. Until recently I had not realised that this does not just affect me, but other people. My sporadic state of life should not affect anybody else, but it has. This is the last thing I want. I never intended to let anybody down. However, I also know that because you are one of my badass, independent, amazing friends that you will survive without me and your plan will take off.
Therefore, to my friends who I will make plans with in the future. This is your warning. Maybe one day my life and my mind will slow down a little. Maybe one day I will be able to make a plan six months in advance and stick to it. Until then, please bear with me and my crazy mind. For now I am following the sun (probably to latin america haha), booking cheap flights, keeping everything in mind but choosing everything at the last minute.
Besos y abrazos